One of the hardest truths about adulthood is coming to the realisation that you are not exceptional. In fact, you are very likely, undeniably, average. Nothing will disavow you of this belief more quickly than becoming a mother when, if you’re not careful, you will lose your identity so fast it will make your head spin.
I spent half my life thinking that I was destined for greatness, or at the very least, unique. And then suddenly BAM, I had a 5- and 6-year old and the highlight of my week was a cheeky trip to Target.
Friends, when Target is the highlight of your week, you’ve officially become an average person.
I’m not hating on Target. I love Target. I no longer live in America, but it’s a must-shop whenever go back to visit family. Where else can you snack on popcorn and slurpies while shopping for new bath towels, some craft supplies, a fruit platter and mosquito repellent? I once went in for windshield wiper fluid and came out with some adorable wedge sandals and a not-unflattering swimsuit. They. Have. Everything.
Except. You will not find the meaning of life at Target. Nor will you find rich, soul-filling contentment. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Target is a place where average dreams come true. It’s the junk food of dream manifestation. If you can dream it, you can find it at Target, but it will be a watered-down version of what you really want.
You might one day find yourself in the Home Decor department trying to choose a Tibetan-inspired floor pillow when you suddenly realise: you don’t want a Tibetan-inspired floor pillow. You want to go to Tibet.
Or if not Tibet, then somewhere. You’ll have a sudden-onset existential crisis and wonder if this is all you’re ever going to do for the rest of your, buy travel-inspired home decor from the Super Target on 76th Street. You’ll drop the blue cushion on the floor and sit on it and cry until someone comes along and asks you if you’re okay.
You are, or you’re not, whatever. It doesn’t matter. You grab your popcorn and your slurpie and you leave the store. It’s time to pick up the kids from school and start dinner.